Why it's important to tell others what your values are

For many years I have been having big and deep conversations with my marketing clients. As part of the “getting to know you” stage, we do what I like to call a “discovery session”. What comes out of those sessions is always much more about them as humans opposed to what is wrong with their business or where they would like to take the business. It makes me think that perhaps most of our problems are self-made and could be fixed if we take the time to fix our mindsets and values before we try to fix our businesses.

A lot of the time the discussion sways to why they started the business or got involved in it and what their vision was for it at that time, then they tell me all about why it didn’t quite turn out the way they had envisaged. Things happen, people come and go and economies change, cash flow is affected. However, the one thing that seems to remain steadfast is that their core set of values are still the same. They are still searching for those specific milestones or moments when they can say that their original values are being fulfilled. Its why we get up, its why we are doing what we are doing and if it’s not – you need to start thinking about doing something else, something that does fulfil your own set of values.

The question is, do you know what makes you tick?

It goes without saying that everyone has their own set of values. When I see things start to come undone, its when a collection of humans all work together but are not united with their value system or do not let the rest of the team know what makes them purr.

The way I see it is that if you have a specific thing that makes you – “you”, and you would like to be treated or respected in a very specific way and you don’t share that, then no one is going to guess what that specific thing is. You have to communicate that to your team. This applies to businesses and family/ friendship groups too.

Without communication we are all lost little souls floating around this giant rock we call home with no bloody idea and higher expectations than Mt Everest, then we wallow in our own self-pity when things don’t go our way. Of course they haven’t – you never told anyone what you wanted.

So if you want to be a fulfilled human consider what makes you happy, what do you need from another human to make you content?

An exercise that is in my book follows:

What is your make up?

We are all human, I don’t care if you are the CEO or the Cleaner, we all matter, we all have feelings and we all have lives.

Every single person on this planet wants something. What is it? Well, mostly, they want a variety of things from this list.

Which of these resonate with you? What do you want out of life?

Tick all that apply

Then share these insights with the people you love, work with and are friends with

Chances are that they may have a very similar set of values, or maybe they are totally different. But by understanding who each of us is at our core, we can forge better relationships without the miscommunication.

If you own a business and you have staff, being able to understand that your secretary works back late every night because she wants your respect and thanks is a powerful insight. You will then be able to give her what she needs and she will be happy. If your operations manager slogs his guts out at work and then wants to have meetings with you about performance or process, its because he is searching for thanks, possibly a raise (money and security) and probably a progression in his career (success).

If your partner wants freedom and belief then you can start to suggest things that they can do to experience that freedom (No one likes feeling like they cannot do something because it might offend their partner). Perhaps you can start to talk to them about how much you think that what they are doing is the right thing for them, or if it isn’t guiding them to a path that helps them to start doing those things – because you believe they can. These things may seem trivial but they are critical to most humans on this planet.

It’s simple-