I’ve been in a really bad mood this week and when that happens madam sarcasm comes for a visit, I get all bolshy and cover up my foul mood with bravado and quick quips. I hide what I actually think and all my barriers fly up to the sky. I totally exhaust myself with my own attitude… It’s something I thought I’d unpacked, but clearly the 3year old inner child is still with me and wants to throw a tantrum every so often. 

If you have been one of the poor humans I have spoken to this week and have been quickly quipped, Im sorry, Im just a moody cow and you know I have no real reason for it – Im blaming early-onset menopause (utter fabrication but it is a good excuse). 

You know I wrote a whole book about who I am and what I think and how I got here and all that, yadayadayada, but Im clearly still a work in progress and do you know what – that’s ok. It has to be. 

I’m not fixed, but I’m also not broken. Im just evolving. 

I went out for a bike ride this morning and cleared my head. I came to the conclusion that nothing is wrong, everything is as it is supposed to be and I should be more fucking grateful for this amazing life I have created with my little family. 

But so many of us are so fucked off with our lives, even though we have everything we want. Sure I could do with selling more books, sure I want to get some speaking engagements, sure I’d like more marketing clients, sure I’d love to be less grumpy and have less tense discussions at home, but overall Im bloody lucky. So, I should be happy – right?

Why then, when we get to the place that we dreamt of years ago, are we still not happy? Why is the grass always greener somewhere else?   This is one of the most annoying human traits we are equipped with. It’s like the horizon keeps on moving.

What do you do when this happens to you?

Today, I unpacked a little more of me. It’s a process that keeps unfolding and I have a feeling it’ll be like an Escher staircase for the rest of my days. I choose to make peace with that. So, everything is fine, I am just me having a bad week in a collection of great weeks – and that my friends is called life.  #unpacking