Yesterday I did a very short meditation on self-worth, it made me think, these things tend to spark flickerings of wonder in me.
The topic was about self-worth, now its something I have been speaking about lately to groups of business people.
Over the years and sometimes still, I find myself over-delivering and undercharging. Now, this has a lot to do with my inherent makeup and my belief in what I am worth. It’s all about the “Imposter Syndrome”, that perhaps there is a part of me that believes that I am not as good as the other marketing mentors and marketing consultants out there soI have to give more in order to feel comfortable with my fees. Its all codswallop, I am actually good at what I do and I don’t overcharge in the slightest.
Even at home, a few years ago I felt the need to do everything myself without asking for help. Then I’d resent it. It was all based on my need to feel like I was contributing, to feel like I held it all together, to feel like I mattered, but it was killing me and is all self-fabricated.
This fear I have inside me sits inside all of us, it lurks and works its way out when we need it least.
This meditation gave me the opportunity to address my own self-worth. I began to consider where I learnt this belief, who taught me that I need to give everything I have until Im bone dry of value in order to be valued?
I believe it is a collection of influences that encompass school teachers, greedy employers, lazy colleagues, over expectant clients, it also includes family and friends to a point, it would be the same with each of us. Because we are all teachers to each other, so I do this to others and others do it to me and it is deemed normal. But it doesn’t have to be.
Our overarching judgements and opinions guide what we all do, mostly because as humans we hate to disappoint, hardly any of us like conflict or deal with it very well, so we do everything we can to avoid it, even if it means giving away too much of ourselves to others and leaving nothing in the pot for ourselves.
But here is an idea. What if we are already enough, what if right now you are already that shining light you strive to be, but you cannot see this.
What if we are already where we are supposed to be, but instead, of fighting it, we accept it.
Do you think you’d be happier?
See everyone else’s perceptions cloud our own ability to see our “enoughness”. We are all in demand, we all feel the need to give more and at a pace that is unprecedented. It’s exhausting. But what if we didn’t need everything to be done in a few seconds flat, what if we all took a step back and saw that this crazy hectic way of living is not living, it killing – us.
What if we are all already winning, would that change the ever-increasing to-do list you have in your head, those things you feel you need to do – to be better?
You know I talk to my kids about positive attracting positive and negative attracting negative. Its a lot like the law of attraction, Im not speaking about anything that is not already known. But here’s the thing. What if the law of attraction only kicks in when we feel that we are enough?
Do the good things only come to us when we believe in ourselves and we value ourselves?
Our reactions create our experiences, this is also something that I’ve been speaking about to business people and my kids. What we experience is based on how we move through life and what we let in and out.
So here’s an idea, why don’t we move with more grace? Why do we rush to be here, there and everywhere because of other peoples expectations and timetables? Does everything have to be done right now, will spreading out the to do’s detract from your value or increase your wellbeing. Do you think that you would execute tasks better if your looming to-do list was shorter?
Would you be happier with less to do’s? You can be more and be more focused by doing less.
Imagine everyone being part of a new global shift. What if we chose better ways of working of being, of living.
If we were all kinder, calmer and more present – what would happen?
- Would we push less?
- Would we criticise each other less?
- Would we help each other more?
What if we learnt how to plan more effectively, instead of reacting? We would save so much time.
What if as a global movement we limited our to-do list to just a handful of things per day.
What if we helped each other get tasks done if you have finished your to-do list so we collectively get everything that needs to be done – completed. This idea can span across home life and the business world.
Do you think that we would live in a happier world? Would you be happier?
Do you think we would start to see a decline in depression and domestic violence?
Do you think that kids would learn to help out at home and that being part of a family collective is an important life skill?
What if the people who are inherently lazy picked up their game
What if the people who worked themselves to the bone stopped doing that and asked for help
You will be valued when you are fair with your expectations of others.
You will be valued when you pull your weight but not pull the entire cart.
You will hold more value when you do the tasks you need to – properly
So do you value yourself?
Are you letting the teachers around you guide you away from delivering your value with their misguided expectations?
Do you value your contribution to your world?
Do others value you?
Maybe we should work on this as a collective because we are worth it!
